“Happy Father’s Day Mommy!”


I call her every year. She deserves it. She’s not crazy about it and always says I’m not your father but thank you.

She really is. My biological father was not a part of my life from a very young age. Here and there we’d see him but never build that relationship. She never let me hate him. I didn’t understand why until I had my own children and parted ways with their father. If it’s possible to save that relationship, that was the most important thing to do. Today, my girls have a great relationship with their father. I purposefully make sure if it.

Now, I did have an amazing man whom I refer to as Daddy for a long time. He stepped up and did the things father’s are suppose to. Took care of me when it came to school, birthdays, and my health and well being. He paid tuition, cooked breakfast and packed my lunch, and even visited me when I was in the hospital. Even when he and my mom didn’t work out, he was there for my siblings and I. He took his last breath 6 years ago. I miss him very much. But for most of my life my mom took on both roles. She did so while completing a college degree and send all of us off to college.

During difficult times, every day of my life, my mom was there. The first time I was stood up for a date, graduations, births of my children, divorce, accolades, and even now as I move into another phase of womanhood, menopause. I’m scared about my body changing and reflecting on my life is sometimes is scary. She brings me back to reality and the bright side of every situation.

Like she always has been, mommy is just a phone call away. She has given me the strength to move on and take charge. Her encouragement to speak out has  molded me to the advocate I am today for all NC children. She always said use your gift. Don’t let someone else do it for you. Here are some other great words of advice from her:


Never allow anyone to have a hold on you.

Your children need you to be there even when they don’t want you to be there for them.

You don’t have to be friends with anyone but you do have to love everyone.

This too shall pass.

One glass of wine is healthy for you.

Always wear clean underwear and have a half tank of gas.

So many wonderful affirmations that I pass down to my daughters. And they keep coming. The other day she said, “You need to take better care of yourself. You have no excuse not to.”

Yes ma’am.

Happy Father’s Day to the best!

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